the gig's getting old

Has anyone ever paused, mid-thought, to wonder, "What would Mick Jagger do?" 

Maybe it's a bit of a stretch, but Chris and I have a groupie problem. I'm not sure if it's one that Mick and Keith could relate to, but it's causing some degree of strife in our household. Madeline, as it turns out, is a one-person groupie, and the object of her devotion is me. Only I am worthy of reading her stories, tending to her bath, accepting the half-eaten Mum-Mum wafer that she's offering from the back seat of the car, getting her snack, wiping her hands, unbuckling her carseat ...

... hmm. As a re-read what I've typed, I realize that maybe I have it all wrong. Perhaps she's not my groupie - maybe I'm her indentured servant! Ugh! But I digress, really ...

This preferential treatment is annoying. Madeline has a dad who would love to cuddle her on his lap and read Franklin. Instead she insists "Mommy read!" as if I haven't read her a book in months when it's the 23rd picture book of the day and the dishes that I'm in the middle of washing aren't at all important. The result of this is that Chris feels slighted and I feel like I have more responsibilities than I can manage. Ironically, the old issue of Today's Parent that I brought to the gym earlier this week had an article on this topic. The folks there had a few insights, speculating that the reason why Madeline wants me to read Story #23 is because I read Story #22 - it's what she's used to. They don't suggest that the other parent merely toss in the towel, but rather acknowledge their child's feelings first and talk about that a bit.  I laughed when I read that, imagining Chris saying, "Madeline, I can see that you're feeling upset that I'm going to read the story when you want mommy to read it" while Madeline has turned into a sputtering purple creature trying to drag me to the sofa by my back pocket ...

The good stuff for this Friday:

• I recently discovered that Madeline likes beans. She'll gobble chickpeas and black beans in soup up like they're peanut M&Ms, but I was surprised to see her scarf up the green beans at my parents' house this summer. She wasn't a fan of the batch of pureed green beans that I made for her a year and a half ago ... Anyway, I brought this tidbit up as it's Bean Week over at familyfood with a recipe for lentils with pancetta and chicken with any bean chili, which I am hoping to try one night next week, if I remember to put the ingredients on my grocery list and then remember to bring the grocery list to the store ...
• Just in time for the holidays, Chapters/Indigo has launched an online toy store. They have some really cool stuff - lots of Melissa & Doug, Crocodile Creek, and the nifty art/craft stuff from Alex.
• What to Look for in a Daycare is another smart post (really, is there any other kind?) by Mary P over at Partners in Parenting. I haven't embarked on a daycare search yet, but I probably will be doing just that in about four months, so I'm glad to have stumbled upon this post. Even the comments are good reading!

Comments

[Sarah]

Somehow, Jack doesn't do this. Imagine that it actually used to hurt my feelings! What was I thinking??? LOL

[Mary P]

Ah, the groupie/indentured servant thing. If it's any consolation, there will probably come a time when YOU'RE the unfavoured parent, and all she'll want is daddy.

I suspect that if the choice is "daddy or nothing" often enough, she'll adjust. But probably not without a big purple fuss! Toddlers are ornery little critter some days...

Thanks for the kind words and the link. I'm here because you're in my Friday bloglines folder - what a pleasant surprise to see your comment. (Oh, and I don't know what the daycare situation is where you live, but I know that in my city, many parents are setting up their daycare three or more months in advance.)

[Julie Morrison]

Laura...
Pureed beans?
I wonder how many foods you have ruined for Madeline by Pureeing them? Gross! I recommend a re-feed of everything. Especially kidney beans.

[Jaime]

I know Nikyla always chooses me too. Both kids do, I have a child hanging off of each leg. My first try for that was Dan getting her ready for bed and I do the bed story. Now I am gone 2 times a week to badminton and Dan does bedtime. Gives them both good quality time without mommy there.

[Terri]

I can so relate to being the glorified and only parent capable of doing anything. Shaun is always willing and eager to read her stories but it seems mom is apparently the only person who knows how to read. I know as much as it irritates me sometimes, when the time comes that Shaun is her chosen hero, I will feel sad.