when mom's your frenemy

If you should happen to walk by our house during the day and happen to hear someone howling through an open window, I'm probably just changing Madeline's diaper. She thinks it's a form of torture. I mean, I need her to lay down and stay relatively still, whereas she'd rather be racing around the upstairs with a cool breeze on her bum. I hate the entire process. It's funny - yesterday Chris remarked that Madeline is cooperative whenever he changes her or puts her into her carseat.  I doubt he means to imply that I am thus doing something wrong to cause her to howl and protest, but part of me is really bothered by that. Another part of me is really pleased, too, because Madeline reportedly is quite agreeable when she's in the childcare at the YMCA. I'd hate to be asked not to bring her back!  She's normally a really swell kid, and I'm glad that she is learning how to behave appropropriately amongst others.  Just wish that she'd share some of the good stuff with me, from time to time ...

Is it typical for children to save their worst behaviour for their moms? I don't remember my mom ever mentioning that my sister or I were like that, though I remember her commenting, back when she used to babysit for her cousin's little boy, that as soon his mom came to fetch him, he'd run around touching everything that my mom told him not to touch! 

Comments

[Helen]

Benjamin has been doing the same thing lately; howling and backing away when I try to change his diaper or his clothes. Not always though, but perhaps half the time. I can't figure out why he is doing that. I've tried to give him a choice of which diaper/clothes he wants to wear and it seems to help just a tiny bit.

[nonlineargirl]

I've noticed that (on the occasional day that I sleep in and Chris takes the first shift with Ada), the girl is happily playing when I come downstairs. Within 5 minutes of my arrival she's tired and cranky. I feel like she's waiting for me to show up before being nap-ready.

But in our house Ada complains and squirms when ANYONE tries to diaper her.

[blakej]

I wonder if she takes after her Dad who got into all kinds of problems with his Mum and the rest of his life I was always told "What a polite, charmer you have, he's so well behaved" I was so shocked the first time I am sure my mouth fell wide open.
Everyone just loved this lad away from Mum and his home.

[Judy]

Yes it's perfectly normal for kids of all ages to save their worst behavior for mom. When my daughter was a teenager, we had repeated power struggles about taking out the trash or loading the dishwasher; her response to my request was always "later, I'll do it later." I'd end up doing it myself. But when her father told her to do something and she said "later," he'd say "Later is now. Do what I told you." She would without a murmur! Once he unplugged her computer while she was online when she ignored his request, another time he took the cell phone out of her hand and said "she'll call you back later" and hung up. She is 22 now and still talks terribly to me at times, but rarely does with her dad. I know your child is still a baby, but like I said, kids of all ages save their worst for mom (who takes and takes and takes!).